May 1st 2020
I have lapsed into a lock-down mindset. It’s when other people are not observing the Covid code – walkers (move away for heaven’s sake), runners (flashing past streaming god-knows-what), cyclists (still zipping along the pavement in spite of empty roads). And a sweet-looking elderly gentleman reaching up excitedly for the last tin of baked beans in Tescos as an equally elderly lady pipped him at the post with the hook of her walking stick. ‘Bitch’ he muttered audibly under his breath. I agreed.
Life interrupted
Oh to be free to enjoy things the way they were without interference.
It’s the same with sleeping recently! I mean you don’t want it interrupted at 5am with a Niagra-Falls-Flush from above (upstairs flat). Honestly, with some folk it’s almost as if anything goes at the moment.
Past passive
Will things return to the way they were before the virus? Or will some of us continue to be passive - over-adapt to the current rules when they’re no longer in force – can I go out? shall I risk going to the shops now? shall I flush?
Old habits die hard
Being passive often means others making decisions for you. I need to be careful I don’t fall into that bear-trap again. It can change your life without you knowing it. I’ve just catapulted myself back to 1964 when I brought shame and devastation on my family. And then banished because of pregnancy. Returning home empty-handed as instructed. I was 17 and unmarried. And I’ve spent a life time searching for what I’d lost.
Joseph Campbell an American philosopher once said
‘the idea of sin can put you in a servile position for the rest of your life.’
Freedom from Wanting
Things never return to the way they were especially where your life has been arrested, interrupted. Back then I looked the same but I wasn’t the same. Nothing was ever the same.
Conditioning can restrict and confine us – bend us to serve the will of others. The corona virus sharpens our awareness of ‘freedom’ - it’s not always about getting what you want, it can be wanting what you get.
Take it a step further and the ultimate freedom is a freedom from wanting itself.
To find out more about me and my memoir ’A Sense of Something Lost’
go to my link on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B084GFG6WS/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0
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